Reclaiming My Voice

Annadale Falls Grenada. This Spring break trip sparked a new energy for creativity!

“He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord” (Psalm 40:3, English Standard Version)”. 

Praise God I completed the 7 day blog challenge! This is the longest blogging streak I’ve completed and each day grew more and more strenuous. I suppose that’s what happens when you don’t use a muscle or skill; your body and brain stretches in ways not stretched in a while. 

Today I started a six week writing workshop hosted  by New York Writers Coalition (NYWC). Each Saturday from 2-4 I join other writers on Zoom along with the instructors. The workshop is completely free, unless people make donations to the organization. The instructors present us with a prompt and we’re given 20-30 minutes to write. The instructor gave a prompt called “Taking it back”. Below is the piece I came up with. 

I’m taking back my voice. I buried her deep in the crevices of my insecurities. “No one listens to you”. “No one cares what you have to say”. “Our words will always go unheard and ignored”. “Why do you bother speaking anyway?”. 

When I was little, my voice danced freely while reverberating through time and space. So much needed to be said, expressed, challenged and questioned. 

Yet, so many attacks caused her to retreat. Adults telling her to “Be quiet and stop making so much noise”. Ridicule by our peers when she spoke freely during class. Teachers overlook her words. 

SO I captured and bound my voice, trying to silence her permanently. “Only speak when spoken to”. I sternly warned her. “If people invite us into the conversation, then I’ll let you go”. 

I kept her imprisoned in a cage, but I never expected her to grow restless, enlarge, grow louder and become steeled. 

Somewhere during our lifetime, she became too powerful to contain. As I grew, so did she. Outgrew her cage. 

And then she ripped open the seemingly impenetrable cage I stuffed her in all those years ago. 

Now I think she’s planning on taking me back. 

Taking back her rightful place, an unstoppable force. Determined to be heard, she tore down the fortress of silence I worked tirelessly to construct and uphold. 

She terrifies me. 

My voice speaks her mind. She shares the depths of her innermost thoughts with strangers. Speaks her truth while demanding an audience. And for God’s sake, when did she get so loud! 

My voice; off and on the page, no longer accepts silence, disregard or attempts to extinguish her flame. 

A Flame which continues to spread and there’s nothing I can do. My voice, the fiery phoenix. 

As I continue to rediscover my writer’s voice, I hope to spark courage and elation in everyone who comes across The Bashful Butterfly blog. To share how  the Glory and grace of God constantly transforms me into someone bold and powerful. Come join this journey with us! 

With Love, 

Leah   

**In case readers are  looking a writers group: 
NY Writers Coalition: https://nywriterscoalition.org/

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