Something New

“I’m so happy for you!”

“I wish you the best!”

“We support you one hundred percent!”

“I hope you’re well and you take care of yourself during this time” .

“I’m sending positive thoughts your way”.

The well wishes of my parents, friends and colleagues uplift my spirit as I take a major step towards mental health wellness. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be undergoing a deep, intense therapy called “The Breakthrough Process”.

The purpose of the “Breakthrough Process”, according to my therapist, is to “release the toxic energy that has been draining you for so long” and that I need to release “the yarn ball of combined traumatic experiences”.

Scary part; this conversation happened right after our first session back on September 23rd, 2020.

The type of mental health therapy I’m about to undergo comes at a price ( a hefty $3000.00 so thank God my parents are helping me finance the therapy) ; I think about the scripture in Luke 14:28, about counting the cost of battle. At first, I shirked at the price, thinking, “this woman is out of her mind”.

Turns out, I’m the one that has been out of my mind for twenty plus years. Anxiety and depression became appendages that took over my mind and eventually my actions. My smile faded. I jumped every time the phone rang, convinced of terrible news on the other end of the line. Then came a jagged symphony of insomnia, negative thinking, migraine headaches, diminished cognitive thinking, low energy, apathy and hopelessness.

So I had two choices; I could either have a breakthrough or I could have a breakdown.

I have no idea what tomorrow will be like. I’ll wake up at 5:00 AM, take an Uber to the Metro North and then a Bee line bus to my therapist’s office. The Breakthrough process takes a week and I have no idea who will step out of my therapist’s office when we have our final session of the Breakthrough Process.

All I know is that I’m ready for something new.

“And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh”. Ezekiel 36:26

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